How are you!!!

I hate starting conversations. Especially with people I know. No, not because I don’t want to talk to them, it’s just that the conversation starts with something very strange. It’s that question where, if you are in a quiz competition, you grab your fellow quizzer by the collar of her shirt and whisper in her ears, “Don’t answer it straightaway! I know, it’s a trick question!!”

 “How are you? Is she asking how I am at present or how have I been doing since we saw each other last time. But wait, when exactly did I see her last?”

Initially, understanding the exact meaning of the question used to be my struggle.

Now, by the time the thoughts get the better of me, I blurt out the most generic response. “All good, and you?” As if, shooting the same question back is as necessary as personal hygiene.

By the bye, have you noticed, how there’s so much science involved in the process? Because you always end up travelling time. Going way back to remember your state of existence when you had last met them. But all this is necessary if you are interested in the game though.

Oh! You don’t know the game, do you! Well, your answer to the “How are you” is like a banana. And here’s the deal; you don’t get to eat it! The banana is grabbed by the person who asked you the question and now when they get home, they will peel the banana off from every angle possible, to uncover the fruit of what you said! Eat it they will for sure, in fact, they will even share the banana with others.

“So, what’s the game about?” you’d ask.

Well, the game is to not slip. No, not on the banana peels silly! The game is about knowing the exact meaning of the question and not miss answering the actual question. 

Because for all you know, that same “How are you?” can mean anything from “I just mean to greet, I am very polite” to “I am asking this 'cause I don’t have anything else to ask” to “Please answer with just a nod, I didn’t mean to ask, just splurged it while passing by!” to “The other thought in my head was so offensive that I had to ask this stupid question instead!”

Speaking of greetings though, how nice it’d be to have something else rather than the ‘how are yous’, ‘whatsups’ and ‘what’s your scenes’; an idiom or a phrase, a quote or a proverb maybe? We’d be able to greet each other as per social norms while keeping it a least worked out ritual. And if we ignore the fact that the thought of it sounds nonsensical, we can still pass on some meaningful information to each other, in form of quotes and proverbs!

“Hi! No pain no gain.”

“Hello there! Exactly as cool as a cucumber!”

“Excellent! Here’s what I came to you for…”

Little confusing, subtly polite yet point blank. Just that and nothing else.

Hang on, hang on. There’s another side of this unexplored. The exploration though, is as personal a note as the starting sentence of this post was.

Honestly, as much distress and misery a seemingly simple question has brought me, strangely, it has also brought me quadruple that amount of joy of connecting with someone. And believe it or not, I have literally seen start-ups conceived, products launched, space shuttles designed, and colonies formed in Mars, meaning of life realised and superpowers gained, all by the end of the question “How are you”.

Okay, gaining superpower was probably an exaggeration.

But that’s what those conversations felt like! Magical. Because not so far away from the heap of banana peels, there’s always someone who would listen to all that shit that happened to you just today morning and understand every nerve of you saying, “I am so much better now.”  There’s always someone who’d be as much if not more excited than you, knowing your experiences and would be a part of the joy that reflects on your smile. There’s always someone who would walk that extra mile with you, understanding fully well that later, you may or may not have any recollection of that walk at all.

So, go ahead, don’t be a jerk like me and answer that question, being true to yourself and to your heart’s content. And when you are done, drink 4 dollops of love and 2 dollops of patience and ask, “So, you tell me now, how are you!”